Stelter Associate Strategist Amber Moore joins the blog today with three tips to help ensure your donor’s “yes” becomes a lasting legacy.
Last year, I attended a conference where Russell James III, Ph.D., J.D., CFP®, Professor of Charitable Financial Planning at Texas Tech University, shared his insights on donor conversations around planned giving — particularly how to make “the ask.”
If you’ve ever heard Dr. James speak, you know he offers both data-driven research and practical wisdom for fundraisers. But if you haven’t, let me share one example that really stood out.
He discussed using a combination of “Donors like you do things like this” and the soft ask approach of “Have you considered…”, blending social proof with donor autonomy.
Dr. James offered this example (below) from Jason James Shuba, who shared it while serving as director of gift planning at the University of Illinois Foundation (and now leads gift planning at Denison University).
“Thank you so much for all your support for so many years – we truly appreciate it. Donors like you who have supported us for so long often include a gift in their estate plans. I’d love to say thank you for that as well if you’ve done so. Have you included us? Have you considered it?”
Later that afternoon, during a panel Q&A, a fundraiser raised her hand to speak to Dr. James. She explained that she had taken his advice that very day—emailing a donor using his suggested framework.
The donor replied almost immediately with a “Yes!”
We all clapped for her… and then she continued with her question.
“So what do I do now?”
I think many development professionals can relate. You spend so much time preparing for the ask: building the relationship, choosing the right words, rehearsing how to handle objections. But what about when a donor says yes?
That’s where the real work—and opportunity—begins.
3 Steps to Take After the “Yes”
1. Say “Thank you.”
A simple thank you, in a timely manner, goes a long way. When a donor tells you they’ve included your organization in their estate plans, they’re saying they consider you part of their legacy—even family.
This might be the most meaningful gift they’ll ever make. Express your gratitude sincerely, without jumping straight into the details (save that for your next conversation). Right now, just make sure they feel appreciated through a note or phone call.
You can also include details about your legacy society as part of your follow-up.
2. Continue the Conversation.
Once you’ve thanked the donor and provided legacy society information, follow up with a conversation to learn more about their intentions. This is your opportunity to request any documentation your organization requires.
Here’s one way to start that conversation:
“John, I wanted to make sure you received the details about our legacy society I mailed to you. And thank you again for such an impactful gift. I was wondering if you had given any thought to how you would like your gift used. When you are ready, I would love to talk with you more about your gift so we can be sure to carry out your wishes as intended.”
The goal here is clarity and connection—not paperwork. Understanding their motivations and hopes helps deepen the relationship and ensures their legacy aligns with their values.
3. Stewardship. Stewardship. Stewardship.
Following Dr. Russell James’ research, we know two-thirds of people revise their wills within five years of their passing. And since many of these gifts are revocable, consistent stewardship is important.
Stay in touch. Keep them informed. Make them feel they are part of your mission. Show them how they are making a difference. Include them in annual reports, newsletters, educational emails, etc.
And don’t forget the special touches like birthday cards or letters, calls, or emails to share stories of impact or news with them that you thought they would be interested in.
Remind them that they matter—not just to your organization, but to the future you’re building together. By not investing in maintaining this relationship, you risk being taken out of their will.
After All… They’re Family Now
When a donor says “yes,” they’ve invited your mission into their life story. Treat that moment—and that relationship—with the care it deserves. A thoughtful thank you, genuine follow-up, and consistent stewardship help to ensure your donor’s yes becomes a lasting legacy.